By now you’ve read the multiple stories about the suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Boudain, and the CDC’s report of the 30% plus rise in suicides in the US since 1999.

It doesn’t matter what others think, whether they say it’s selfish, cruel (to the survivors), cowardly, escapist, or the easy way out.  It’s the person him/herself who is struggling with this, and although friends and family have a person’s best interest at heart, let’s face it – they’re not very objective.  They can’t be, nor should they be.  That’s not their role, or  the type of relationship they have.  If you, or someone you know is feeling suicidal, get (them) to a trained therapist.  It’s their job to be objective.  Work it out with them.  If you do talk to friends or relatives, talk to the ones who will support you to get help.

Studies show that people who have survived suicide or seriously considered it, report that it wasn’t that they didn’t want to live, but that they didn’t want to live with the unbearable pain.  They couldn’t see any other way out.

Many people who are considering suicide face difficult life  situations, which understandably cause depression,  hopelessness and helplessness.  Depression is like brain fog, even though it may not feel that way.  They’re unable to see or shift to other possibilities.  Depression restricts a person’s thinking and emotions.  The trait or hallmark of depression in particular is how it deceives the person who embraces it.  It is beguiling and insidious.  The person feels trapped not only by their life situation, but by their depression, as well.  The two become entwined, and they no longer know how to extricate themselves.

If you can’t find your way out, work with someone who can help you.  Do yourself a favor.  If you, or someone you know feels suicidal, get to a therapist.  Or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org, or text “START” to 741-741.  All are open 24/7, 365 days a year.